closure is a screen door

can't replace
the space
you make
in your heart
for someone.

can only fill it
with bullshit
for a bit until
you get a moment
alone to wonder-

what if?
like five years
didn't happen
or you didn't make
the same mistake
you once made,

to trust yourself.

embarrassing

i know ur crazy

cuz u listen to me.

i know ur selfish

cuz u do what

i would do-

what’s best for u.

i know u knew me,

but on a day-to-day basis

i could be anything

or anyone, so,

you don’t know

me anymore.

all you know is

i would give my life

for something, someone

I don’t believe in.

and i guess

that’s just a little

embarrassing.

fucccccxcv

here

is all

i need…

there

is all i want.

hard wired

to recall

our first

fucks, feels,

forevers…

hard wired

to resist

chasing you.

the curse of consciousness

unconsciously present,

the awareness of

my attention removes me

from the moment

and places me here-

In the past.

wanted to

i wanted to show you

where i almost drowned,

one grey summer day

in my old hometown.

i wanted to hold you so

close to my skin,

get up to piss,

then fuck again…

i wanted to break you

because i can’t be fixed…

but you wouldn’t let go,

and i wouldn’t give in.

never the first to reach

i don’t

understand us,

we’re always

a love letter

away

my love, she was a sculptor

why didn't you

carve your name into my skin,

so no one one else would want me?

you carved your name into my soul...

and now our love will always haunt me...

like a feeling i was born with,

like the urge to fight for life,

i feel our summers deep inside me

far out of reach for any knife.